Discipline

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me spiritually.  Because I was sick and such, it was really hard to read the Bible consistently and pray without falling asleep because of the medication.  I was reminded of my spiritual disciplines today from teaching Sunday School, and how I do need them.  However, I have not been able to open up my Bible or pray consistently even after I was healed a few days ago.  But, today was a good reminder.  I was also reminded about it in my conversation with Kev tonight.  Thank God for he has put people in my life to remind me of such things.

Cards

The last few days have been filled with two very fun card games.  Oh, the things that amuse me!

I was introduced to "BANG!" after Christmas dinner at the Li's and we had lots of fun playing with the cousins and BFs.  My cousin is so funny, she made it totally obvious that she was the renegade when she could have taken a lethal gun away from the sheriff and instead decides to take a horse from someone else.  I really enjoyed the time we had together as a family.  I do not think that we have really hung out like that in a long while, if at all, and now with busier schedules, significant others, and the such, it makes it even more difficult.  But that night was definitely fun!

Last night I was introduced to another game, "Dutch Blitz", where Kelly has already renamed it, Double Blitz, and she has brainwashed everyone into saying it.  It is pretty easy to pick up and can get quite intense when people snip you.  Lots of fun indeed, except when you get a ton of negatives!

Tired

Not enough sleep.  Fighting illness.  Tutoring in the mornings.

Results in a very tired girl that just wants to sleep.  Maybe I will take a nap when I get home.

Irony

Who said our God isn't funny?

Today after coming home from shopping with my dad, I go to check the mail and guess what is in the mailbox?  You guessed it, my police check that I have been waiting for!

Oh the irony, the first day of Christmas holidays for the kiddos and I can only email my teacher contact and see how we can proceed in the new year.

God was definitely teaching me patience.  But now I don't know what to do except wait once more.

Thoughts

I am up at this hour because of the bbt that I drank at 10pm.  This is utter destruction.

However, I am also inundated with thoughts, about an array of subjects that is also keeping me up.  Lots of things that have happened in the past few days, lots of things that have been talked about, things from the past weeks that resurfaced and requires attention once more, just lots and lots of stuff.  From one thing to another, there is just a lot to think about and mull over.

Further, this results in even more things to pray about and to lift up to God because although I am not necessarily worrying about it, it needs to be prayed about, and needs to be put into my daily prayer life.  God answers in his time, but I have to do my part as well.

I am excited and anxious for next year, as I reflected back upon this year, and how much God has pruned me, shaped me, moulded me, disciplined me, challenged me, and blessed me.

Battle

It seems to have always been a battle.  However, it is even more evident now.  What can we do to stop this from happening?!  I believe that God has been preparing us for this--and now we just have to use what God has blessed us with and endure.

Satan has been blinding us, to the people right in front of our eyes.  We have to open our eyes and see the damage he has caused and is still reaking on people all around us.  We have to continue arming ourselves for this battle that we seem to keep losing.  What is God preparing us for?  He has been telling so many of us that He has great things planned for us, but the plan has yet to unfold.  In the mean time, it seems like we are fighting an uphill battle.

Reunion

Yesterday there was a CCF reunion at Christine's house.  Lots of food and fun to be had!

I really enjoyed the conversation that I had with a brother in Christ about recent developments in CCF.  He seems to still be in the loop whereas I am not so much.  It was interesting to hear his take on some things and to find out what there is to be prayed for.  I think what I really liked most was that we were able to talk openly and such, so quickly even though we had not seen each other since the summer!  I know that this only occurs with specific people, based on where I am with God, where they are with God, and the rapport and relationship we have with one another.  He has always been one to share openly with me though and very bluntly at times, without abandonement.  It was definitely good times.  Too bad our conversation was cut off because dinner had to be served.

I was thinking on the way home, while driving, that in the past year and a half since we left MAC, there has been a lot of growing, spiritually and through life stages.  I could hear it in our conversations.  The conversations that I overheard which dealt with God and their spiritual lives, made me smile.  For some, when we had graduated I wondered how they would do, without the consistent support of the brothers and sisters at CCF, because really, some had had some rollercoaster rides in terms of their spiritual lives.  However, I was happy to hear about an upcoming baptism, new relationships that are definitely centred around God, individuals trusting in God's providence, and so much more!

When I responded yes to going to the potluck/reunion dinner, I really didn't really think much about what God wanted to happen.  However, last night, so many conversations were about Him and how he has affected some of my friends recently.  One thing last night did concern me, which is something that I have pray about more before addressing it.

Seriously?!

This post is kind of random and a lot less heavy from what I have posted of late.  It is mainly talking about stupid people... ugh, they are the bane of my existence!

First, there has been a person who has been calling my house looking for Loblaws the past few days (with the help of caller ID I know it's the SAME person).  We get these phone calls often because our phone number is very close (only off by one number!) to the Loblaws number.  However, you would think that after calling 4 times in the last 3 days you would get the hint that you have the wrong number!!!  Like after the second time, I went to look up on the internet again to see what the number actually is and I was able to find it.  You would think that this person would be able to do this also!  Seriously?!  It took me 30 seconds!!!  I am really tempted to just tell him the number if he calls for a fifth time!!!

Second, a couple of days ago, my dad receives a letter in the mail informing him that he had won in the "Spanish Sweepstake Lottery."  Ummmm, can we say SCAM!!! Like seriously?!  Like the first time I looked at it I could tell it was a scam.  First of all it is printed with an ink-jet printer that needs to be replaced and/or aligned properly!  Secondly, there are spelling mistakes--that is another can of worms for me, I despise spelling mistakes anywhere!  (Okay, not anywhere, my students can have spelling mistakes, however, they are less than 14 years old--it is more so with adults that I get more annoyed)  Plus if you are trying to run a successful scam you think that you would at least go through the trouble of spell-checking.  But yes, it tells you a whole bunch of stuff and the sad thing for me is that some people may actually believe this in a time such as this, where the economy is where it is at and people are in desperate need for money =(

Lastly, yesterday it was a little dicey on the roads because of the weather, but stupid people make it even more dangerous by not cleaning off their windshields!  Seriously?!  You are making the roads even more dangerous because you cannot see out the back of your car, and you have limited peripheral vision!  I saw at least 5 cars that had not cleaned off their windshields before driving yesterday morning.  It doesn't take you that long to clean off your windshields if you adequately warm up your car.

So yes, this is my rant of the stupidity that I have come across the past few days!

Stretching

This weekend has definitely been about stretching, and lots of it from God.  He forced me to step out of my comfort zone and made me rely on him ever more so the past few days, and in the end I am humbled and grateful.

On Friday the junior high fellowship I help out in were carolling at a senior's home.  I don't believe I prayed enough for the event, but God helped me through.  He provided me opportunities to speak with people, the kids, adults, and seniors alike.  The kids are starting to trust me, even though I still get some of their names wrong sometimes!  In reflection, I was touched that one of the parents took the time to learn my name, as one of the new counsellors of WWJD.  And I had the opportunity to help a small group of girls talk to the seniors, one gentleman was a reverend and he was so grateful to have had us sing to him and another I was able to talk to without abandonement about hockey. =)

Saturday was an interesting day.  Stretched in terms of relationships and in terms of living out my faith in my community.  Something happened early in the day which humbled me and caused me to rely on God evermore.  However, he always delivers.  Everything is good now, not great or awesome, but I will take good for now--God will deliver awesomeness in his time.

The prayer walk at Square One was also interesting.  I liked that we took the time to pray for a number of things going on in the mall, where we can see God working amongst all the crazy shoppers and the rush of commercialism at this time of the year.  I pray that our monkey goes to a child in need and for him or her to feel joy even in his or her circumstances.

That night my family went out to dinner to celebrate my brother's birthday that had just passed the day before.  We went to Pizza Hut where we had some good family time.  My daddy ordered a yummy pasta dish to share amongst the family alongside our pizzas, it was delish!  I know that God had been telling me to share something with my parents for a while now.  I got the courage after a trip to the washroom where I did a quick prayer and when I got back to the table I asked my parents and brother if they wanted to attend the Christmas banquet at church.  It was surreal to me in a sense, that I was actually asking my parents to come to a church event--I had always thought that God would provide others to bring the gospel to my parents, but lo and behold he has been constantly pruning me for this instance.  They asked questions about it, they  show some to little interest (they think that buffets destroy your stomach... hahaha), but I am glad that I asked them.  However, I think I failed when my dad breached the subject again later in the evening, I did not adequately answer him or spend time talking with him about it.  This just showed how unprepared I still am, which brought me before God again asking for his forgiveness and being stupid.  I am scared to pray about it because I know God will hear me and give more more opportunities, I know I'm silly, but this is new and foreign to me, look how long it has taken me to get this far!  But I know I have to, thus, if my parents don't come to the banquet this year, I know that God is working in them, and I am his vessel.

Today was a day full of rollercoasters.  This morning's message was interesting, I don't know what to totally make of it yet.  Will need to pray about it more, but Rev. Tim Wai did remind me of a couple of things, nothing I have is mine, it belongs to God and I need to give back to where I take from, the church.  One more thing that spoke to me after the day before, was that there are consequences to our actions.  How true.

After church, Richard and I went to a shelter to carol and pass out gifts which was organized by Auntie Vivian.  I have to admit, I was not totally sold on the idea when it was brought up at our meeting Thursday, but God was telling me to go.  And I'm glad that I did.  

The interaction with the residents was probably the best part.  During carolling I was looking out into the small crowd of mainly children and teens, with some parents on the side supervising their kids, when I noticed this one girl staring intently at me.  Not once or twice, but a number of times when I looked up from my song sheet.  She looked familiar to me and I think she had the same feelings as well.  I couldn't place it for a long while, where had I seen her before?  But then it finally clicked, I had taught her during my last placement.  She had not been there when I was teaching the first time, but she was in the classroom I observed alongside the Special Education teacher.  It actually broke my heart because just from being in the classroom full of kids, you will never know their full stories.  If I had been her actual teacher of course I would have looked through the OSRs and would have found out.  However, as a mere observer and assistant at times, it is hard if not nearly impossible to know the stories behind each face.  God knows though, he knows all and he cares for all his children.  Now, I do not know if her or her family are saved, but I know that God convicted me to go for a reason, and seeing her and talking with her and her brother made all my fears, anxieties, worries, and doubts about going to the shelter disappear.  This makes me a better teacher but even more importantly a better follower of Christ within the classrooms.

I thank God for this weekend full of stretching.  It was definitely needed even if I didn't want it, he humbled me and put me in my place.

Excuses

I was thinking about this in the last few days and a few weeks before, and it kind of troubled me.  Far too often we make excuses, we always seem to make an excuse not to spend time with God, fellowship with other believers, go to church, attend prayer meeting, read our Bibles, or pray.  There always seems to be an excuse ranging from, "I'm too busy with school.", "I have family stuff." (this one in a way is a bit more legit, but still), "I have exams.", "I'm not in town." (again, pretty legit, but sometimes it's overused), "It's too early/late." (pick whichever one that applies), "It's too expensive." or whatever you choose dependent on the situation.  Now I don't want to say that when we do have family stuff or things that have been planned for a long time those are excuses, but I'm talking about those time where we actively look for a reason not to become closer with God through prayer, reading the Word, being fed, and fellowshipping.

Last night this came up again in a meeting I had with some of my brethren.  The topic of prayer meeting came up and why some people may not attend it.  I have to admit that sometimes after tutoring for 3+ hours up in Brampton, the allure of going home, taking a shower, spending some time with mom and dad, snuggling up in my warm bed and watching tv beckons me home, especially when it is crummy outside, case in point two weeks ago with the first substantial snowfall of this season.  What troubled me even more was someone helping another person make an excuse for her not to attend.  The fact that we are serving in the church, are at the actual church building 3+ times a week, being in fellowship with one another does not replace the power and need for prayer at weekly prayer meetings.

I think that when this was brought up again last night it hit more of a chord with me because I do not feel that my own prayer life has been going all that well.  And I look forward then to prayer meeting because I can have some good time of prayers with other brothers and sisters around me, supporting me and such.  Even if I have had a sucky week in terms of prayer, there is that light on Wednesday evenings that may provide a spark for me and to hear about answered prayers and others' prayer requests.

From there we breached the topic of why some people may not come to fellowship, namely our fellowship.  Since we meet relatively early on a Saturday morning and cater to university students, some of the excuses we get are: "It's too early." and "I have to study/do homework."  However, I remember that when we made the switch to Saturday mornings, we did so to cater to those coming home, to give people a chance to come out on a Saturday morning instead of missing fellowship on a Friday night.  We talked about whether our "programs" were fulfilling the needs of our fellowship, and why people are still not coming out.

I don't know, last night just made me think about the excuses we make--the examples above are more so on a "social" aspect--but can it not also be indicative of our personal walks??  I feel that the excuses we make are actual choices not to spend time with God.  This may be my own personal opinion, but what personal excuses are we making not to spend time with God.  Thinking about this made me reflect back on a conversation I had with a fellow brother about a month ago, where we need to make the choice to read our Bible, even if we do not feel the urge to do so, God can still reveal himself to us.  We need to make the choice to pray, I was reminded of this of a recent Sunday School where the teacher was saying that one of the things that he did right in his times of darkness was to not stop praying.

I feel that the choices I have been making recently have really been Jesus-centred, as per the sermon on Sunday.  I have been making choices to read my Bible, making the choice to pray (albeit, I feel that I am still lacking in this department, but I know that God will work), making the choice to go to prayer meeting, fellowship, and church, and making choices where I know that I will be stretched!  I really don't want to make excuses anymore, I pray that God continues to help me make Jesus-centred choices and avoid excuses that I can only see are from Satan.

CRC

Nope, it has not arrived yet, or I would be rejoicing!! Ugh...

I called the Peel Police headquarters and they said that it would still be at least a week, they are processing CRCs from on and before September 27th.

Thus, I can not do anything until then.  I just have to hold on to God's promises for me.

Hugs

The hug from Heather today after Sunday school definitely made my day! =)

That was probably the best thing that happened today in a day full of great things!  Today's message was really good.  Jesus-centred theology, oh so simple, yet oh so hard in this world today.  It is so true that people are so easily distracted by their kids, marriages, relationships, jobs, etc., and forget that they need to have Jesus at the centre of their lives at all times.  Seriously, if Jesus was the centre everything else will fall into place, we do not have to worry about it.  Today's message was a further reinforcement of so many things God has told me recently and encourages me to stay on the straight and narrow path.

Sunday school was also a highlight of sorts.  Paul combined both classes to have one big class and we ended up doing a group activity which was used to demonstrate the diversity of the class, yet we have one unifying thing, Jesus Christ.  In our groups we had to illustrate something that represents us.  I drew an apple, chalkboard, and an A+ after Auntie Lynn helped me out a bit!  And then we had to make up a story based on the different illustrations we had.  In the end we made a quilt of the 6 different groups which helped to demonstrate Paul's point of unity in Christ amongst our diversity.  

I also got a chance to talk with Auntie Lynn a bit more and we got to pray with each other.  That was encouraging as well--I got to share about my life and how God is working and I got to hear about her family too, and we were able to pray for one another.  Prayer is awesome!

Then I got a hug from Heather after Sunday school, which was my highlight of the day!

This was followed by a prayer for my dear sister in Christ, Eleasa, who will be jetsetting it off to China and then Australia to become a doctor.  Prayer is so powerful, yet we sometimes forget this.  Being able to pray for her is such a privilege, something God can only provide.  During our community prayer for her, it was just so awesome to hear others praying for her, and also being able to pray for her.  It was just so AWESOME.

I then drove Kev home, although I had to miss lunch with Eleasa, spending time with him and his family was fun too, looking at his grad photos.  It was stressing but fun at the same time.  After talking with him last night, I think that we are becoming more and more on the same page and I can only thank God for that.  Lots of crazy stuff talked about, some of it boggled my mind, but yes, I have to pray more.  Thinking about it now, just a few minutes ago when I was blowdrying my hair, we all tend to like to make plans, for our day, week, month, year or for big events, parties, weddings, reunions, etc.,--however, how often does God "ruin" those plan (and I say "ruin" because seriously, how can God ruin the plan since it is his plan to begin with and he has only given me the privilege to be a part of this planning process, and more often than not, I'm dumb and he has to right the course).

Had some great laughs with the boys afterwards.  Lost some productivity as a result, but fun times nonetheless.  Boys and scrapbooks don't really mix well.  Quote of the day: "You can't really man up when you're dealing with scrapbooks." Hahahaha!

An interesting conversation with Richard reminded me once again of the people that need prayer!  It is crazy how Satan can have such a stronghold when we don't read our Bible regularly--the answers are all there, we just have to crack it open!

The night ended with the Chan sisters and being in the zone!  Mission accomplished ladies!  Despite the scares, spam, slip-ups, and downright dumbness, we pulled it off!