Checklist

3 of 4

- SIN card [check]

- Void cheque [check]

- Criminal Records Check [check]

- Medical Exam

Each time something happens that leads me closer to signing my paperwork, I just give praise by to GOD! He is soooooooooooooooo awesome and it delights me that He has chosen me to be a part of his family.

Throughout this process, all praise, honour, and glory must go back to our Father.

God is SOVEREIGN & AWESOME

The past 7 days has definitely been a testament to God's sovereignty, mercy, and His perfect plan.

As I keep saying to fellow brothers and sisters, nothing I could have done to have all these wonderful things happen to me, seriously NOTHING!!! But God had an awesome plan, he scripted for all these things to happen and to fall into place at the right time.

After my roller coaster of a month in September, God redeemed me and renewed me 100 times over! Our God is good.

Just to share a quote from a friend I was talking to recently about the recent turn of events:

I seriously thought you would keel over with joy, really

like God slayed you over the week

I thought that was really funny - but it is true on many senses. I am on such a high right now, but I pray that God continues to sustain this joy for a long time, for me to remember a few months down the road how His providence was so perfect when things seem to be down again. This past week is such a testimony to His perfect timing and His perfect will for my life.

Romans 8:28 has been coming to my mind this past week (emphasis added):

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God always does things for our own good. This past year and a half was for my own good, to be pruned and stretched in ways that I never though imaginable. And the past seven years has definitely been a journey of ups and downs, but we both love God and he continues to work for our own good.

May all glory, honour, and praise be given back to our Lord!

Back!

As many have said to me this past weekend - I seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth - but truly then is when I know I am loved and have true friends who look for you, ask about you, when they have not seen you of late.

The break from everything was good for me. It offered me fresh perspective and re-energized me for whatever God has in store. A step back, to examine where I am now, where I have come from this past year, and to think about what there is to come.

Some of the struggles have come back, especially with September looming around the corner. The daily questions from my parents are the same. I want to spend time with them, but that dreaded question makes me want to retreat at the instance any talk about jobs comes up - even when it is not related to me. There is that cringe inside of me whenever anything work related comes up - even when talk about other people and their jobs because it could segue at anytime to my situation. My heart is heavy again. Oh, how human am I, possessing such little patience for God's plan to unfold. I must pray and pray and pray so more for God to take away this heaviness on my heart and the million thoughts running through my head.

Throwing myself back into ministry has been great though. A post camp reflection will come shortly. Let's just say it was wet. I know God is pushing me to do more but what, I have not grasped yet.

I can not believe that it is almost the middle of August already. The next few weeks are going to be full of changes, am I ready for it?

Irony

Who said our God isn't funny?

Today after coming home from shopping with my dad, I go to check the mail and guess what is in the mailbox?  You guessed it, my police check that I have been waiting for!

Oh the irony, the first day of Christmas holidays for the kiddos and I can only email my teacher contact and see how we can proceed in the new year.

God was definitely teaching me patience.  But now I don't know what to do except wait once more.

Sick

Yesterday was an interesting day - learning out voting, elections, and polling. It was also interesting to come home and watch the results. It was a tight race in my riding, with the Conservatives coming up on top by less than 250 votes. Voting does count as I experienced this past election, this election made me realize that we are all growing up and talking about "grown-up" stuff.

When I went to bed the night before the election, I wasn't feeling 100% and when I got up in the morning I had a sore throat. When I got to Woodlands I felt a headache coming on. Throughout the day I felt I was running a slight fever. And by the end of the night my back was killing from sitting in a chair all day.

Today I felt a little better, but I must still rest and catch up on some course work. Please pray for healing.

Spoken Word

So yesterday was again a little frustrating. I understand their concern as they are parents and all, but hearing it over and over again will not change the situation that I do not have a job - and it's not like I'm not doing anything to rectify this situation. But yes, I got the "lectures" again last night from various sources, and I was just getting fed up.

I feel that some of them should understand where I am coming from as they are Christians as well, but with my parents it is a little hard for them to understand that I am awaiting God's provision and timing for my life. Again, I do understand where they are coming - they want the best for me, they are looking out for me, blah blah blah... But what is so wrong with just WAITING?! I know that God has a plan for me, it's not like I am just a bum right now at home doing nothing - I have gotten myself involved in a number of things already, things that have in a way are overwhelming in themselves, see last post here, and on the plus side it is supplying me with an income of sorts. So why can't I just WAIT for God to provide - I have done all that I can so far, applications on VIP, speaking with ATs from last year, arranging opportunities to volunteer - and now I place it into the hands of the one that I know will deliver something for me. I was just so frustrated and upset last night - hearing, listening and reading that, it just brought me to tears. Like it's not like I don't know I have a teaching job yet, thanks for the reminder - it's my life and I want to live it as God has planned it! Just thinking and typing about it makes me upset and frustrated once again!

So, I turned to my Bible, because it is the only way I know that I can calm down and to speak to God through prayer. The Holy Spirit led me to 1 John. As I was reading through it, I got to 1 John 2:15-17, and it was just a confirmation from God that I need to wait for him to bless me and to disregard what others are saying, ignore the fact that other friends are getting jobs, and to RELY FULLY on the will of God.

15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

I was much calmer after that, and was content with what I have, and am waiting upon what God has in store for me next. I meditated on the last few words "but the man who does the will of God lives forever." AMEN! I was then able to fall asleep with a heart that was not burdened and a mind that was clear.

Overwhelmed

So yesterday after tutoring and prayer meeting, I was still feeling overwhelmed with just stuff. I don't really know why, but I feel like I am being blessed by God with so many students to tutor, but now I'm just doing it as it comes - there is no passion in my teaching. I want that passion once again! I love to teach, but it could be that my student got less than great on an assignment we worked on together and I feel the indirect pressure from the mom as to why this happened - she is a lovely woman, but she is still paying for her son to do well in school, which is why I am there and yeah...

Then I get news (via FB) that another friend from teacher's college got on the supply list in Peel. I am happy for her, but at the same time a little jealous and frustrated that I have been unable to do so myself. I know I have to hold on to God's promises and trust in his timing, but it is just difficult again - just like how it was during the summer. I keep telling myself it is still rather earlier - it is only the beginnings of October - but I just see all my failed attempts since June when the postings started going up on VIP, it just gets depressing after a while. But at the same time I also know that I should be content with what I have been blessed with but for some reason I can not find that peace at the moment. I hate going on this rollercoaster.

Elections

So today I went in for a training session to be a poll clerk for this upcoming federal election. It was quite interesting and a little overwhelming all at once. I was glad to see that I was not the only newbie there! And I found out later that I was not on the registered list of voters, I should have found out when I was at the office but I just wanted to go home because I was hungry =p

I got placed at Woodlands, so it's nice and close, but it's going to be a long day two weeks from now!

And as for the AQ course stuff, after looking at the postings today when I got home, it doesn't look like I am that far behind. Now I just have to come up with a scenario to post.

Time passes by...

I do not feel like I will ever feel the age I actually am. I always felt that once I left high school, age didn't really matter anymore. There was not the constraints of grades. Even in university, because I graduated with the double cohort, I had many people who were younger than my in my classes, fellowship, and as housemates. Age no longer mattered that much. Maturity on the other hand, that is a different story. I feel that I just hang out with others who I am able to relate do, why does age have to matter. The group of girls who I hung out with in teacher's college were mainly younger than me, and that didn't seem to matter, because they seemed A LOT more mature than some of the other characters in our class. But that is a whole other story.

As another year is upon me, I reflect upon my last year, and think about where I have come from. Last year at this time I had the comfy safety net of a whole year of teacher's college, the prospects that having a Bachelor's of Education can bring, a world of possibilities and new experiences to be had. Now, a year later, even though the safety net has been yanked from under me and I have hit the cold hard reality that there are surpluses everywhere, I am more satisfied with my life now, and more content with where I am at. These last few weeks have been so great spiritually - reading the Bible with fervour and excitement, to see what God has to reveal to me through my devotional life, hearing God's voice through prayer and meditation, eagerly anticipating fellowshipping with other brothers and sister. This is just so much better than the worldly things of a job, career, money, cars, house, husband, etc., etc. Yes, I do still yearn for those things, but God has told me to trust in him and he will provide when the time is write. Thus, I am content to spend my birthday reading his word and listening for him to speak to me.

Contemplating

So, I got asked today by Richard to start a blog. Unbeknownst to him, I already had one. Alas, I never got around to ever updating it since the end of last year. A lot has happened. If you really want to know, just talk to me. Thus I am now contemplating coming back to this blog, so I might be back every so often now since I have nothing to do these days, as others now have blogs and there are part of my daily readings now, as I am still unemployed and praying and hoping for a job - I guess I will pay them back with glimpses into my life as well, for their enjoyment at work. But for now, whatever is in God's plan I'm good with, but probably to the chagrin of my parents. However, I know God will provide me with ways to deal with them.