Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Today during play day I was partnered up to follow around a kid in my class. He is such a sweet boy, but cognitively is functioning really low. But today, after a small mishap during one of the actvities he says: "My arm is out of commission."

That made my day. *heart*

Young at Heart

This post is a little late, considering it is Thursday, but stuff has come up but I really want to share my experiences from the past weekend!

It is so crazy to see where I have come to where I am now; how God is sovereign and his plan is so much better than our plans; how this burden He placed in my heart over 8 months ago has become my passion. It is truly amazing to see my God work!

Saturday evening was the Hillsong United concert. I'll admit, I am not their hugest fan, but I went - not because of obligation as a counselor - but seeing it as an opportunity to serve these kids, to learn more about them, to use it as an opportunity to gain their trust and friendship. Even though I did not get there until 5pm, and everyone was already in the Molson Amplitheatre - their energy throughout the night totally kept me going. I was exhausted from a full day of activities - Zoe, teaching, GO-training - and I had not slept well the night before because the dogs had kept me up. But when Hillsong United came on stage and I saw my kids jumping up and down and praising the Lord, it gave me energy and I was even jumping up and down! It was truly awesome.

[sidebar: there was an unfortunate incident that happened at Ontario Place, but I think as counselors we really learned something about ourselves and about being Jesus to the kids - a negative definitely got turned into a positive after talking with some of the other counselors who went]

Sunday was the fallout of this incident. You know you are deep in the ministry when you have to start speaking to the parents reassuring them of our conduct and that we are taking care of their child. I couldn't totally concentrate on the Sunday School lesson, as a result, but I think I may have psyched myself out about the meeting, or by the grace of God we got through it and everyone was happy, or at least understanding of the situation at the end.

That night, I also had the opportunity to minister to three of my girls at the movie theatres. Even in a short amount of time, I was able to learn so much about them - they opened up so much and I was so excited and happy about that, moreso than the actual movie. Yes, I went to go see the movie with them, but what I got out of it was probably so much more than that. I came home so excited and pumped for youth ministry and I can not wait to see what God does next!

Worthy is the Lamb

My new song of the moment!  Zoe's praise and prayer was so convicting of my heart.  Even though things are great with God at the moment, I have joy and peace with where I am at and where I am heading, God is speaking to me through prayers and Scripture, I felt that God revealed to me that he still longs for so much more out of me.  To pray more, to read the Bible more, to spend more time with him.

I truly felt this when the song, "Worthy is the Lamb" was sung.  It brought me to my knees, tears streaming down my face, humbling me to realize how unworthy I am of his love for me.  I felt so dirty, sinful, shameful, to even think that I should be content with where I am at.  I still fall so incredibly far from his glory.  It hit me like a ton of bricks, that God felt that I was worthy to be saved and redeemed by the blood of the perfect lamb - an atoning sacrifice for my sin.  Even when I feel that everything is going incredibly great, God breaks me again to see the ugliness of my life contrasted with Jesus.  But I am glad that he does, he knows that I can handle it, and it makes me yearn for him so much more!

Thank you for the cross, Lord.

Thank you for the price you paid.

Bearing all my sin and shame, in love you came

And gave Amazing Grace.

Thank you for this love, Lord.

Thank you for the nail-pierced hands.

Wash me in Your cleansing flow, now all I know...

Your forgiveness and embrace.

Worthy is the Lamb

seated on the throne.

We crown You now with many crowns

You reign victorious!

High and lifted up

Jesus, Son of God

The darling of Heaven, crucified...

Worthy is the Lamb.

I think that I was really feeling the shame I had as a sinner, but as I continued to reflect about it throughout the day, I realized that I have to get past the fact that I am a sinner, but to claim victory in what Christ has done for me as well.  He doesn't want me to feel the shame and guilt of sin, but to experience the joys and blessings he pours out on to me every day.  As the day wore on, when God broke me that morning, I knew I was restored by the blood of Jesus.  All I could do was praise him and know that I am worthy in God's eyes.

Anxious

You know your God is sovereign and ruler of all things when he points out exactly what I need to hear.

Doing my devotions on Thursday night, this is the passage that I read:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7

And this is exactly what I wrote down in my journal that night: How much did I need to hear and read this?!  There are so many anxious thoughts about the job situation.  But may I allow God's plan to become my plan.  That is the only way this whole situation can work.

Power, Love & Self-Discipline

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.

                                                                                                                              ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

This is the verse I opened up my Bible to this morning.  My focus was not on the first part of the passage, but more so on the second half.  Some things have been on my mind since the weekend, a little troubling and burdensome, but may I live out a life being empowered by the Holy Spirit, where I claim the power, love even when it is hard to do so, and be self-disciplined in my walk.

Crazies!

I don't know whether it has been the mind-numbing days of EQAO testing, this tedious book review that I have had to do in chunks, the little tasks required for my course, the anticipation of job postings in a few days, or the fact that I have not had any contact with my hunnie for 6 days now, that my mind is making me go crazy the last couple of days.  I was seriously like cabin-fevering it yesterday.  I resorted to uploading pictures onto fb.  And now I'm at that point again tonight.  My mind is just so incredibly bored and needs some stimulation!