Meeting tonight with Jessy was great as always. Something she said at the beginning of our meeting stuck with me the entire night, into our prayers, driving home, and now sitting in front of my computer.
For the past little while, I feel like even with my daily Bible reading, prayer life, devotions, and fellowship, I feel like I need more. I can't really describe it, but I feel like I am still not doing enough, sometimes selling God a little short, not giving him my all. When I shared this with her, she said that this is a good sign, that we need this to keep us going, God wants more out of us. Well that is the gist, I forget her actual words =p
Now I wonder what it is that God wants out of me. It is always scary to ask God, because deep down you know he will deliver, and what he delivers may not always be what we want, but it is what HE wants out of us.
Saturday was a full day! Beginning in the morning we had a great time of sharing before cleaning up the sanctuary. It was so great to have Sam, Vince & Eddie back! It was good sharing and great prayer. I love supporting people through the power of prayer!
Then we went to clean up the sanctuary. I am feeling the effects of scrubbing down the pews and wiping all the dust out of the crevaces. It was a good time to catch up with people as we cleaned away, hearing how God is working in their lives and everything else in between!
From the church, I drove Eleasa and myself to Cindy's baby shower! Oh what fun we had! There were "fun" games, great conversations, and everything was just so incredibly cute! I love baby stuff! It was great catching up with some an old friend as well and what's going on in her life since getting married in May.
From there, Kelly and I drove downtown for Jen's birthday! I love spending time with these girls! With all of our busy schedules and the fact that some of us are out-of-town, we need occasions to come together. Dinner was fun as usual--there is never a dull moment with these ladies! Living together really does bring you closer. Just to think we were mere strangers less than 5 years ago, and now we have so many memories we share together. I hope that we have many more memories together!
The drive home with Kell was fun, I really feel that God has blessed our relationship--especially in the last few months, serving together, seeing so much of each other, supporting one another through prayer, encouraging one another. God has truly blessed me with a sister in Christ who I can turn to!
I'm looking forward to a week that was less busy than last week, albeit that hardly ever happens for me anymore!
Coming home yesterday I realized how unready I am for winter. I don't really mind the snow, it is pretty, I loved watching it fall last Wednesday. However, I am not ready or wanting to drive in the snow, as per my previous post. I am also not ready or really wanting to embrace the COLD! It is so incredibly cold! As I get older, I feel like this feeling just gets stronger and stronger each year! =p I think it is also signalling another year has passed and I am getting older! haha... However, this year had definitely been a good year, a blessed year indeed.
This morning, I had breakfast with a dear friend. We have been friends for far too long--over 10 years! We have been through a lot and I know that we will go through a lot more together. She has always been there for me and I hope that she knows that I will try to do the same for her as well. I have learned a lot from her and it is really good to know that God has blessed me with such a wonderful sister in Christ.
We went to Panera Bread, which just opened across from Square One. I had the spinach and artichoke egg souffle with a caramel latte. Yummy!
It was good times, filled with amazing conversations. I know that God was there and may we always be able to encourage one another in prayer!
We then went shopping for a hat for Aban since spending a year outside of the country, she needs to be re-acclimated to Canada's winter! =p And way to go Walmart for providing a nice green hat! And in the words of Aban, now with my brown jacket, I will look like a tree! A sight to behold I tell you!
So after posting my previous entry, I go back to my Gmail account to be totally taken aback because it looks so weird. And I message Kev and Richard in a fury because I'm wondering if their accounts changed as well. This is when I find the info box on the top of my screen!
I come to find out that Google has just introduced "Themes" to Gmail. I got excited when I realized because they have so many cool and cute designs!! Some were weird, but for the most part the designs were really fun!
Richard and I went through most of the themes rather quickly, and I think both of use decided on using the "Tree" theme! I think it's the coolest and cutest one of all! They ask for your location, and based on your location, the background adapts to the weather conditions outside! And since it's snowing in the GTA, I have snow in the background and there is some snow on top of my message boxes! We only found this out because he thought it was for marketing purposes so I changed my location to Beijing, and there was smog in the sky! hahaha! And then I changed it to Puerto Plata, and there was rain because it's raining there now! I think that is too cool! Don't you think so?!
I know, small things amuse me, but now it's so pretty!
Driving today was crazy to say the least. And I know how bad salt is for the environment, seeing as I have a geography background, but on this first day/night of snowfall in the GTA, with some form of accumulation, I was very thankful for it!
Driving to my second session tonight was pretty bad, took me about twice the time to get there than usual. And then driving to prayer meeting from there took about 40 minutes, using all city streets. There was only 1 incident where I had to pump my brakes, but God got me to prayer meeting and then he got me home. Getting to prayer meeting was probably the worst part in terms of driving, since it was a long distance, and my side of the road did not have salt yet! I got upset at the fact that the other side had been salted!
I am glad that I went to prayer meeting, even though I wanted to go home because of the weather. Had some good talks with people and good time of prayer.
Eleasa mentioned something today that made me reflect. I totally took advantage of the time with my parents that I had at home in high school and even in the last year and a half. I wish I could spend more time with them, especially my dad. When my dad gets home from work, I am off to go and tutor. I hardly get to see him anymore. I was actually really happy this past weekend when I came home on Saturday night and had dinner with the whole family! I believe that it is so true why these days families fall apart, they are no longer having family dinners together. I know that when I was younger and my dad owned the restaurant he wasn't home much, but he would always be home the Tuesday the restaurant was closed. I don't specifically remember specific dinners, but I do remember my parents spending whatever time they had with us--on family outings, at the restaurant, family dinners, fishing trips, camping, and so much more.
Sometimes when I think back upon it, parents put up with a lot. We would go to Canada's Wonderland, pay admission for four people, and only my brother and I would go on the rides. I distinctly remember cooking instant noodles on our trip to Disney World. The dreaded teenage years, that I feel my brother is still going through sometimes. Working so incredibly hard, and hardly getting the recognition.
Tonight was a good reminder for me to really try to honour them, their wishes, and to just take time to talk to them, especially about God and the Gospel. I love my parents so much more when I take the time to think about this. I wish I had more time to spend at home--but it would mean giving up some of my tutoring. But I feel that God is telling me that anyways. We will see how God wants me to act next.
It's been almost 6 weeks since I handed in my criminal records check to volunteer at the school my AT works at now. I can not start volunteering until I have it. I am turning into a mad woman checking the mail each day to see if it has arrived! I want to start volunteering ASAP, but without it there is no chance of that happening, the quicker I get into the school, I can learn more, and buddy up to the principal! =)
Based on a dream I had last week though, I just need to hold on to God's promises for me once again. That dream left me with a smile on my face. God is good!
This is a hilarious game! I can't wait to play it with the rest of Zoe when they come back for the Christmas holidays!
Went shopping with Richard, Kelly, Eleasa & Bonnie on Sunday. It was fun times indeed! We accomplished our mission and we bought a fun new game! It is crazy how packed the mall is already, but then I thought about it yesterday, there is only about a month left until Christmas, so it is crazy how fast time has passed!
This past weekend was eye-opening in ways. I have to admit that I did not think that it would work, and then I get totally owned by God. This is what happens when I do not believe in Him and his power to convict each of our hearts.
On Saturday we did a program that shed light on poverty, hunger, and HIV/AIDS around the world. We fasted from Friday night's dinner to the next day's "lunch" which was prepared by Felix's grandparents in the form of plain congee. It was really eye-opening and an experience in itself to go through it all.
On Friday night, God had spoken to me about another aspect that was not necessarily touched upon in Saturday's program but I still felt that God was trying to teach me something, to encourage me. I wrote this down in my journal:
I need to be hungry - both spiritually and physically. Spiritual: - need to read the Bible to become full - cannot be fully satisfied each day without my spiritual food (Bible reading & prayer) - I need to feel hungry!
Physical - reflecting on how truly blessed I am! - every reminder of food turns me back to God who provided me with it - showed me how the people around the world who go hungry each night feel
After talking with Kev last night and talking about James and how we sometimes feel like we are like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind because of our doubt that God will deliver, I was reminded of this song, Who Am I by Casting Crowns:
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth, Would care to know my name, Would care to feel my hurt. Who am I? That the bright and morning star, Would choose to light the way, For my ever wandering heart.
Not because of who I am, But because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin Would look on me with love And watch me rise again. Who am I? That the voice that calmed the sea, Would call out through the rain, And calm the storm in me.
Not because of who I am, But because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours.
Not because of who I am, But because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear? 'Cause I am yours. I am yours.
And it is so true - it is totally not because of who I am, because seriously, I suck, and it is all because of GOD and everything that he has done for me! I am totally, 100% God's! He hears me when I cry out to him and is always there to catch me, who can I say in my life has ALWAYS been there for me, since I was born until where I am today. God rescued me from so much darkness in my life to redeem me and make me his child. I need to be reminded everyday that I am HIS and need to live my life as such.
Since I did not have this song on my computer, I turned to youtube, and this video really touched me last night.
And then it was pretty cool that Marc chose to sing this song at Prayer Meeting tonight!
God has definitely blessed me the last week with some awesome conversations with friends, old and new!
An interesting conversation with a friend on Thursday last week where I was challenged about my spiritual disciplines. Jeff altered my views on some things, very refreshing indeed. I am so glad that I took the time to meet up with him since we don't get to see each other as often anymore. But I am happy for him and it was great hearing about what God is doing in his life!
Friday night was dinner with Aban for her birthday. God has been convicting me to demonstrate my faith more openly and publicly. The fact that there were some non-Christians there who I have been friends with since high school was a great opportunity to do so. Although it was about a particular topic that we never really got to a unified answer to, we were still talking about the Word and using it as our foundation to answer the question, which may cause them to think further.
On Saturday morning, Zoe met with Pastor Scott, a prospect for the English pastor candidacy at church. It was an interesting topic, he did a spin on prayer, and it ended up being about church history, but it was interesting nonetheless. However, he did challenge us on our knowledge of the Bible. As in the words of one of the girls, he made us feel like "bad Christians." But I think that it was a wake-up call for me, like I may say I know things about the Bible, or people may perceive that of me, but do I really know the Bible?! I do not even know all the books of the Bible, especially the OT (minor prophets...)!
Sunday's message by Pastor Scott was also convicting. He preached on mercy using Jonah as an example. Jonah knew what he was supposed to do, God spoke to him so loud and clear, yet he still ran the other way. However, God is merciful, and he came to Jonah a second time, and spoke to him. This time Jonah obeyed. He did what he was told, and preached an eight word sermon to the Ninevites. Only EIGHT words! But God worked mightily through those eight words because Jonah had finally chosen to obey. God provided Jonah with a second chance, God has provided me with a second chance, third, fourth, fifth,... chances - Pastor Scott challenged the congregation have I been giving others these chances?
Sunday school was also awesome. It challenged me again about my Bible reading - something that I had just talked with Jeff about a couple days prior. He provided four things that are required in order to effectively read the Bible: 1. PRAY (oh how often we forget this!) 2. Genre 3. Reading the OT through the lense of the NT 4. Using Scripture to interpret the Scripture
Meeting Jessy on Monday was another great blessing! Things just flow out of my mouth and I don't know how to stop them sometimes when I am talking to her. But of course, there is that security of not being judged or condemned for the things that I say. She has been such a help to me the last few months and I do not feel that I have been the same to her at times. I pray that I can encourage her as well with the things that she shares with me!
Tonight I also had a great conversation. The first one was with Kelly, a dear friend and sister in Christ since our days at MCBC. We both went through the same thing in our past, something that we can relate to each other about, I feel it is something that connects us. However, I feel that we have not really connected for a long while, with conflicting schedules and just being dumb at times. But tonight it was full of great conversations and really opening up to one another - not being afraid to share what is on our minds, something that unfortunately I know that I struggle with sometimes. I have always been a private person, sharing yet witholding some things - keeping it to myself. But tonight God was convicting me just to share and be totally open. Some of the things I shared so few people know about, but I trust her and she can trust me as well. It is crazy to see how far we have come since those days at MCBC and even from just last year!
This week God has truly blessed me with wonderful conversations and showed me how many people are there to encourage me. He has also convicted me to to pray for all of them as we shared with one another and learned more about our lives, the need for prayer is so much stronger. We NEED to pray!
God reminded me about a number of things this week as well. We NEED to pray and we NEEDto read our Bibles and be grounded in the Word! I am blessed indeed. It has been an AMAZING week!
I have only read the first two chapters and I have already been blown away by it! I actually have to reread through it at least 2 more times to fully understand what J.I. Packer is saying. But God reveals himself each time and I find that there are so many things that speak to me about actually knowing God, versus knowing about God.
I started sharing my thoughts with a close sister in Christ and it's crazy how God has been speaking to both of us about some of the same things Packer talks about. I am excited to continue this sharing and relationship in order to become closer sisters in Christ. This book excites me and motivates me to do so much more than I am right now. God is truly pouring out his blessings!
Tonight I went to Mitchell's in North York with the "team." Lots of books to choose from, I only got 2, and a bunch of cards. A little exasperating going through the shelves of books, especially if they were not in any order, but I am happy with my purchases.
The car ride to and from the store was probably the best time for me. We are so very different people, yet God has divinely appointed us to be a part of this team, and I personally have seen growth already amongst us. Of course there are always those bumps in the road that we all go through, but I was reminded today that we must try harder to encourage one another by keeping each other accountable.
The conversations in the car was interesting, as per usual. The laughter that filled the car was memorable. Lastly, the fellowship in that Nissan Altima was priceless.
