God is SOVEREIGN & AWESOME

The past 7 days has definitely been a testament to God's sovereignty, mercy, and His perfect plan.

As I keep saying to fellow brothers and sisters, nothing I could have done to have all these wonderful things happen to me, seriously NOTHING!!! But God had an awesome plan, he scripted for all these things to happen and to fall into place at the right time.

After my roller coaster of a month in September, God redeemed me and renewed me 100 times over! Our God is good.

Just to share a quote from a friend I was talking to recently about the recent turn of events:

I seriously thought you would keel over with joy, really

like God slayed you over the week

I thought that was really funny - but it is true on many senses. I am on such a high right now, but I pray that God continues to sustain this joy for a long time, for me to remember a few months down the road how His providence was so perfect when things seem to be down again. This past week is such a testimony to His perfect timing and His perfect will for my life.

Romans 8:28 has been coming to my mind this past week (emphasis added):

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God always does things for our own good. This past year and a half was for my own good, to be pruned and stretched in ways that I never though imaginable. And the past seven years has definitely been a journey of ups and downs, but we both love God and he continues to work for our own good.

May all glory, honour, and praise be given back to our Lord!

Phone Calls

Last night, I made the last phone I needed to after an awesome weekend. I knew that I had to share the news with these brothers and sisters who have been there for me, supporting and praying for me for a long while - some over ten years!

I find that phone calls have lost their value and appreciation with the advent of technology. Seriously, teens these days don't seem to know how to have face-to-face or voice-to-voice conversations anymore, it's all through email, instant messages, text messages, wall posts, twitter and probably some more that I don't even know about!

But breaking awesome news is just not the same in electronic form. Last night it seriously took me over half an hour to get the drivers installed, the hardware set up, and the software up and running, but it was totally worth it for Em! We talked for almost half an hour, I've timed it, it seriously takes that long to tell the entire story in detail - like on Sunday when I told J, it took almost the entire car ride to church! The fact that you can hear the other person's emotions, happiness, shock, excitement has been lost with technology.

I loved that I was able to share the news with phone calls to dear friends.

[edit] : sharing the news with someone who is at the library is quite fun ;)

Timing II

Okay, seriously, God's timing is truly the best and most perfect.

After this weekend, I pray that I continue to trust in His sovereign plan and absolute perfect timing as He has magnificently revealed himself to me this weekend. No one, on heaven or earth, except our loving Father could have scripted a better weekend.

All I can do is offer praise and glory back to Him.

Timing

... is so perfect when designed by God.

It has been a year and a half of patience, trying at times, dark at others, yet, there was and always is a light at the end with God on my side.

It is still going to be a test of patience in the next few weeks, but with God anything and everything is possible!

Prayer is even more key now. Keep praying for me!

Thanks to all for your love and prayers. I love you all!

Knowledge

Sigh. How much do I actually know???

Love

In response to my last post, God showed me again how truly blessed I am. How I get strong-armed by a sister into her car just to make sure that everything is going alright - a bit upset at me that I didn't share to her sooner. But that is understandable, and I totally appreciate our conversations. There are only certain people that I can fully open myself up to - it's just in my character and personality, and this is one dear sister who has seen me through highs and lows for the past 10+ years (isn't that scary!? hahaha)

And then today, I get a really nice message on GChat that cheered me up. Some of you know me so well! =)

Roller Coaster

As I sit hear in the silence of P&J's living room only to hear the ticking of the clock and my fingers dancing across my keyboard, I finally have time to put into words my feelings and thoughts of this past month.

As I look back upon this past month, I see the low, low, valley that I was in. How incredibly dark it was - to the point that I do not feel that I actually celebrated my own birthday. Yes, I was there in the flesh, but really, my mind was elsewhere. It wasn't until I verbalized it three times and I heard what was coming from my mouth, so many of the thoughts I had had in the past month did I realize how low it had been for me.

A mere few weeks before I was being bombarded by my parents of thoughts of the future to my breaking point. This part of my life seemed to slowly get better as I know my burdens were being carried by my fellow brothers and sister including many of you who faithfully read my entries. This is still a definite prayer request as I am still without a job, but I pray that I am able to do what God has set out for me, not to settle for anything less of that.

As September continued to unfold and I knew that my birthday was approaching, I do not think that I was "upset" that I was turning 25, it is a fact of life - we all get older, and in fact, it should be seen as a blessing from God that he has graciously blessed us with another year of existence. I do truly thank God for my friends, some who made the effort to drive out from Toronto, and my dear friends who know me so well to get me the "Friends" box set, and for a dear brother and sister who took time to organize my special night, and a guy who loves and knew that he needed to make it extra special this year - not because of the age I was turning but because of a number of other things.

I still don't fully know how to put into words my feelings and thoughts of how the rest of that weekend unfolded. And I know it was not done purposely, but needless to say, it shows how human I still am and how I need God to clothe me in His perfect love. How some things that are seen as frivolous to some, can still be so hurtful, which only God can take this hurt away. But this is all I'm going to say about that. It is in God's hands now, and may His will be done.

As the following week came to an end, the roller coaster continued. I was confronted again with the hurt and sadness I felt when my paternal grandmother passed away 12 years ago. I still can't believe it at times when I realize how much time has gone by since she has left us to be with God up in heaven, but times such as the one I experienced last week makes it seem like only yesterday when I saw her for the last time - hooked up to all those machines, her life support - and it brings those exact feelings back. My heart breaks and my eyes begin to tear. She was the one who raised me since I was born. She loved me, but more importantly, I know that she prayed for my salvation and she is an example of a Godly woman that I hope to be one day. It breaks my heart sometimes when I see the way people treat their grandparents - they just don't know how great they have it. My last living grandparent passed away a few years ago while I was away at university, not that she did not have significance in my life, but my por-por had and will always have a special place in my heart.

But things finally started looking up as September was drawing to a close. Getting word of our friends' engagement last weekend and other friends' engagement yesterday saved September from being a total disaster. Hearing about their new beginnings encourages me to start afresh and let the past be in the past and to look ahead.

I wonder what October has to bring...