Overwhelmed

So yesterday after tutoring and prayer meeting, I was still feeling overwhelmed with just stuff. I don't really know why, but I feel like I am being blessed by God with so many students to tutor, but now I'm just doing it as it comes - there is no passion in my teaching. I want that passion once again! I love to teach, but it could be that my student got less than great on an assignment we worked on together and I feel the indirect pressure from the mom as to why this happened - she is a lovely woman, but she is still paying for her son to do well in school, which is why I am there and yeah...

Then I get news (via FB) that another friend from teacher's college got on the supply list in Peel. I am happy for her, but at the same time a little jealous and frustrated that I have been unable to do so myself. I know I have to hold on to God's promises and trust in his timing, but it is just difficult again - just like how it was during the summer. I keep telling myself it is still rather earlier - it is only the beginnings of October - but I just see all my failed attempts since June when the postings started going up on VIP, it just gets depressing after a while. But at the same time I also know that I should be content with what I have been blessed with but for some reason I can not find that peace at the moment. I hate going on this rollercoaster.