Heartache

Among all of the awesome things that have been happening in recently, especially now that I am back on track so to speak, there is something that has also been nagging me.  I can't go into too much detail, because really it is not my place to talk about it or even gossip about it to an extent.  But yes, this has been bothering me.  I do not even know why it is bothering me, I can not pinpoint it exactly, it could just be because there are so many factors involved coming from all different angles and it is at a boiling point.

It is not really a bad thing, but this situation has shown me things about myself--stuff that I have known all along, but it is good to be reminded of.  I love my parents, and always want to honour them--but of course, that comes second to honouring God and what he has to offer me and what he is telling me to do.  However, I do not feel this situation holds the latter, but I could be wrong, only God knows, and I will only see this in time and retrospectively.  I know I can be selfish, but I find this situation frighteningly so--and at what cost?

I still don't know what to make of this situation, but my heart aches already.  The next couple of weeks are going to be interesting, and I can see the upcoming year being very trying in regards to this aspect of my life.  Please pray for me.